Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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