Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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