Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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