He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
