I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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