Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
