btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
