Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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