Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
