I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
