who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize