Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
