I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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