i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
