i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
