How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
