oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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