i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
