after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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