He told me they were just razor bumps!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
