he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
