I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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