I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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