remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
