I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
