The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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