this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
