piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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