what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize