worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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