She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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