never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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