Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize