forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
