the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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