Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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