it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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