Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
