It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
