Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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