The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
