What a fucking waste of an outfit
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
