Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
