I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
