Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So squirting runs in the family.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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