I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
