with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
