I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
