He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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