After last night, I could never be a politician.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
