That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize