I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
