Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
