I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
