ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
50% drunk capacity currently
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
