whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
