Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
