I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
