Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
