she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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