I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
