it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Randomize