I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just cropdusted the office
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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