dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Non-Jews are for practice
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
