So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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