if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
