he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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