It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up under a house in Key West
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