What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
