I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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