my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
