11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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