im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
