I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
