Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
