i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
