dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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