Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
