Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
