Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
