we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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