Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize