please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
