Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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