i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
