I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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