mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am available for nakedness
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
