1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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