I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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