just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
