ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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