what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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